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63 Be sad yesterday
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,
the more joy you
What a relief! The sorrow
comes first. The carving tool gets out of the way before you fill
the vessel. Most of the search results for “sorrow into joy”
point to the Bible. However, citing authority is less powerful
than concrete example. Consider instead the rewards of PMA
(positive mental attitude) and action.
Many success coaches, not
only grief counselors, start their stories saying, “I’ve been
there.” In the business world the shared sorrow is scarcity.
Leaders show how they transformed that into abundance. If they
had never had lean times, they would not recognize plenty.
Someone who has never hungered cannot fully appreciate
food. Hunger serves a purpose.
Online searches suggest that to grow a business, you should increase your
failures. They are not the cause of the growth; they are the
research that points the way to growth. After we recognize
failure sadness, we replace it with something more desirable.
Progress is improving on, not perpetuating, yesterday. That
contrast builds our appreciation of tomorrow.
On the other hand,
Jim Belosic suggested
in themuse that it is better to take steps not to fail in
the first place. A track record of failure is not an encouraging
prediction. In personal development, a succession of confessions
becomes a self-perpetuating pattern. Failure sadness has value
only in the overcoming. It must be abandoned without
Sometimes I reserve an
opposite viewpoint for a later article. Today I put the value and
the detriment of failure sadness into a single discussion. I am
suggesting a progression: wherever we were yesterday is sorrow
compared to tomorrow because our path is always upward. We will
not be limited to or deterred by the past. Because it is less
pleasant than the future, we will distance ourselves from it and
never look back.
In doing this, we do not
turn our backs on people. Not going back to negative
relationships means re-relating in more positive ways.
Forgiveness is not being vulnerable to reinjury. It is
repositioning so that the injury passes as we define the new
world. Past sadness indicates being happy that a thing is
in the past. Present sadness violates the title of this
We have defined joy as
growing. It is time to acknowledge that there exists separately
an appropriate present sadness (sympathy).
Is today’s article the
cold shower on a happiness blog? Sometimes we need the foil that
makes an object more visible. Recognizing any form of unhappiness
is part of realizing life.
article 40 and
article 56 that the
sense of happiness is intimately connected with what we
Article 58 reminded us
“Success can be realized by performing up to a high goal,
or by accepting as the goal something you can perform.”
The satisfaction meter checks our connection with
Indeed, sadness is an
accepted mindset for some events and conditions. A celebration of
life honoring the deceased includes sadness over a loss. Somebody
else’s misfortune invokes sympathy. These are uncomfortable cases
that rightfully develop our empathy. Appropriate sadness is
necessary to life balance. Otherwise, life is forced and
artificial; failure to acknowledge is insensitive.
Being For Others Blog copyright © 2020 Kent Busse
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