Being For Others blog
Table of Contents
In this list, the article number links to the free school and the article date links to the blog.
(The new blog is faster than the school.)
(Click here to jump down to the latest article.)
It is hard to read a line of text 20 inches long! Narrow your browser window for easier reading!
Register for free to receive my first book and newsletter notices of
NO sales tricks
NO affiliate marketing
Grocery product mislabeling handled amicably with merchant, not law enforcement--Constructive outcome: self-monitoring--Resolution of differences; responsive merchants
Promotion of permanent
refugee settlements for the benefit of refugees and the host
--Significant research required before implementation
Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) leads to
--Aristotle purpose of life
--Attitude brings altitude, contagious happiness
contests = combative ignorance
Admonition: adults should seek positive exercises
Car turns right or left to stay on the
Flexibility, progress is neither unique nor linear
Patience; long path to
right goal (Paul inside every Saul)
Redemption, selfishness disappears by atrophy
among empathetic people
Diversity, pluralism over polarization (as in two-party system)
Shortcomings (narrowness) of one-party system
Rebellion against party is less damaging than rebellion against state
Promote civility and
give voice to minorities (third parties) without throwing away votes
Ranked Choice Voting (RCV) counts the ballot for the highest viable choice if the first choice on a ballot does not get the most votes. If your first choice cannot win, your second choice gets the vote and so on.
(1) no wasted votes
(2) no runoffs
(3) more official than popular polls, very influential
Picnic location story; cheating tax
collector story; sports brackets
Sampling theory simplifies getting nuanced results
Suggested counting formula
Argument against impulse buying; no
Honorable informative advertising; buy for intended use
Musings: human role on life's stage; quality over quantity
socializing examples threaded by the happy person
Perceive the "happy world" -- contagious.
Create better world
thoughtfully in unity, not unanimity
"Puff talk" myths debunked.
No need to be separatist to avoid fighting; understand and uplift
cooperation, social value stronger than self-interest
Geriatric suicide (not needed), struggling father, single mom examples of others ahead of self
Strength from will, not resistance--power of empathy
Needed for better future,
not for overindulgence or bossing others
Restorative justice = reconstruction and healing
Restraint rather than greed, need for sharing production and consumption,
What to measure, realistic expectations, perceptions
environment, not gloss-over
Useful statistics, beauty of the good
Beautiful world context:
perspective, relationships, expectations
All necessary to the big picture
Need to be needed but not
All within good measure, not for power
No separation “self” and
“non-self” but self-control is good
Not “altruism” but functional equality, not ranking
solopreneurship, traditional job dignity
Industry, commerce, self-expression, gratitude
Fantasy or self-limiting extremes
Seeing through the surface to the meaning that
rather than suffering
Behavior replacement, redemption, recovery environment
Meeting social needs, no
jealousy, include everything uplifting
Sufficient and fair means free education or equal wealth resources
Hierarchy (urgency) of
needs not money
Meaning = being useful to all, F.I.S.H.
Fundamental Ingredients Sustaining Humans
Leadership to respect or
to forgive, set aside non-useful
Lau-Tzu "We have done this ourselves"
Risks in spontaneous helping--no
avoidance of all misunderstandings
Gracious givers and receivers
Meeting needs, not greed, 70% tax, peace
Open to innovation, that which is not yet
Importance of understanding, science, will
Resisting bad ideas
wastes strength; be for good, not protest against bad
Redirect, understand at the source, choose best approach
Futility of negative sensationalism, let
go of unhappiness
Direct to productivity, appreciate progress (encouragement), PMA
Not on evil but on improvement; stopped
smoking; analyze what happened
Dispense with concepts sin and guilt
We get what we want; we
become what we think. Similar to mind-body duality.
Awareness=passive; Doing=active; mental=internal; physical=external
External threat brings people together.
Collapse of familiar enables fresh start.
Opportunity to do better on rebuild
New thoughts: separate job & housing
so you keep both, one system for each
New views of property and distribution of consumption & production
Cooperation does not
destroy individuality or incentive
Creating and distributing can be balanced and maintained at macro level
People enhance each other = jointly
invent good outcomes instead of opposing
Begin where you are. Face the light. Proceed at your own pace. Bring someone with you.
discomforts: examine, determine, weigh, refine; social mores that
Don't try to change your spouse
Expectation advantage: thinking it
better; realistic is more likely to succeed
Expectation of self and of others
Patience and logic about what to expect;
unity better than compelled simplification
Long path, strength spread out over time
More details of problem solving with
patience: it is how we approach decisions
Science does not dictate procedures; patient reasoning is necessary
School version added specific concerns for study
Lifespan is not
infinitely flexible; occupy the stage and move on
Cost-benefit analysis guides what to change and what to accept
Ignorant pursuit of goals
can devastate; positive attitudes have the most utility
Thoughtful deliberation outperforms painful threats or force.
Alleviate pain by sharing it—keeping firm
footing and using it to help.
Only some burdens can be lifted. Grab the flag and run with it.
Being identical prevents being
individual. Value of uniqueness to the whole
Thesis + antithesis resolves to synthesis.
“Business in a box”
worked for someone else. You are different; now is
Experience, including failures, leads to business skill.
Chick needs to break the shell; understanding why is more important than obeying.
Chess goal = checkmate, not capturing
pieces; clarity and focus bring us to a goal.
Hypothetical measurements don’t constitute success.
Research lab, particle physics, and marketing review goals and act on them.
Material wealth is a
flawed goal; customers buy improvement; humans’ needs drive human
Private funds are better directed than public funds – no gridlock.
Grandstanding income disparity and platitudes do not help; society is a collaboration.
Mysterious dream allegory of life;
awareness of others
Sharing the light is part of the journey
Dream succeeded in delivering a message; matching objects to metaphors
Three major life theories: reincarnation,
resurrection, Ernstraudian – states of awareness / elevation
Others would have imparted their light to me if I were sensitive.
who is teaching whom; patronizing or appreciating others?
Godhood is a future
state; pondering settings of limitless growth; applicable to
Not fallen state; positive view sees the future Buddha in everyone; no terminal / ultimate state
collective subconscious; man-made God or God-made man = viewpoints to ponder
create own world and own heaven; individual progress through overlapping states
The blog is for
discussion, tool of growth—we enrich each other
Writing and action clarify understanding; try expressing what you do next
no deadlines, avoid overwhelm; concentrate on the doing, happiness follows
Bludgeoned by Bible as
weapon allegory; divorce over crucifix; survival requires
The “good book” has burdened Western Civilization. Make something good of religious beliefs.
Old Testament and Book of Mormon teach (1) depravity of fallen man (2) cleansing by slaughter (3) racism
(1) Be reverent (respect all people); (2) be vigilant against negative mindset; (3) find positive replacement
Resolved battle with
mother; do adults learn reconciliation?
winning an argument or improving an outcome?
examples from politics, business, engineering for de-emphasizing self
Private parties are more
effective than government to meet Humans’ Needs
Humanity requires that wealth be applied as necessary to maximize the common good.
Good management is necessary to complex production and distribution.
It is required of private parties to volunteer their means to address the common needs.
Lighten up; view some
dogmas and simplistic examples
demonstration, money, laws, autocracy, tax, disability, education, minimum wage, healthcare
applying the lesson to healthcare
accept health as the goal; discussion about getting there
journey, not destination; indirect, like peripheral
largely determined by expectations
links to more external references and nine previous blog articles
likening to vigorous exercise: happiness is the desired byproduct of work
Ernstraudian way; uncomfortable differences;
private more directly, effectively, and personally applied than
grab the flag and run; desire to be needed, controlling element
Private or public contains support and control, private wealth, relationships
who is controlling whom; price of liberty is eternal vigilance
Principle of fairness;
social contract; stability; exceptions; faulty majority or
election goes wrong? rights, sincerity
historical positions, puzzles to consider but not consider solved
right not to be bound by decision? list of examples
Independent of physical
being; define eternal life
what you eat becomes you; god made man—man made god
A Poem about Generation – homelessness, creation for utility, spiritual elements
see opposite of home, creating life of food substances, learning prerequisites
Identity is unique,
before and after this visible world.
key question of immortality – one magic word
Stories from immortals eating mortal food to atomic structure and vibrations
best possible human experience you want to continue forever
No happiness if no
sadness (contrast); two kinds of sadness
being sad we failed motivates not failing; tomorrow is better
There is a human note, an allowed present sadness.
Our happiness shares in the sadness of others.
Five steps: energy goes
down in the middle; cooperation descends
Benefits go down as cooperation goes down
Examples that distinguish agreement from disagreement
WHY disagree? strong metaphor
Request v order; need
commandments? Question God’s intent?
Nicer term “best way”; would we disobey God’s suggestion?
slothful servant is commanded; discipline children, not handicap
Internalize the why = voluntary commitment
Safe to disagree here;
students’ effect on teacher
Handle difference with civility; 4 methods collect feedback
LIFT convention by
Mirasee, I studied the teacher – teacher leads by
It is about the students, not the teacher
Go together; reader
participation gives direction to our group
About progress, not money; this is not about popularity of topics
WFMT Studs Terkel; WBEZ Jerome McDonnell;
thought leaders were giants
We are necessary to carry on the tradition; sharing is not bragging
Realistic: professor used real-world
homework, not nicely fitted examples
Science expands by investigating what does not fit;
Forbearance; yesterday’s absurdity might be tomorrow’s truth
Blending self with others is
collaboration toward mutually beneficial goals
Good competition builds all parties; selfish competition hurts progress
All humans = one unitary organism; disappearance of go-it-alone
Eternal existence, not just physical
resurrection; analysis to unseen (energy/matter)
Key is sentience; do not limit to present imagination
Stimulate new thinking, make room for tolerance (civil discourse)
Others ahead of self is collective
advancement, aggregation from local to cosmic
We spend energy retreating into introspection, reap new strength
Sometimes we forgive, cannot retreat; even crows can benefit other individuals
View the world as the combination of
production and consumption; view both globally
F.I.S.H. & Millennium Development Goals; on macro level there is enough
Direct resources to the fundamental needs -> quality of life; no throw-away people
Whose resources? Self as first
contributor. Interbeing poem loosens self-other
Think “we” as the new social order; cooperation is winning; we use our resources
Higher orders are attained when we do not put our own benefits first.
We can produce
enough for everyone to be well fed. That obligates us morally to
Self over others is inhumane – job shortage harmfully undercuts wages
The law does not supply happiness – voluntary good deeds lead to happiness
Sub-minimum-wage jobs disappear because we create better jobs.
When unbelief is a good thing – boasting
is veneer over doubt -- neither true nor false
biblical content worthy of unbelief – tolerate unbelievers – welcome imagination
unbelievers must tolerate those who do not believe them
Starting a fight does not garner favors.
You are effective when positive.
Disagreeing by fighting is ineffective. Good political paths lead to an outcome.
Losing the vote is occasion to accommodate and assist someone else’s path.
Replace impasse by finding agreement; success comes from “we believe.”
We get self out of
the way and then apply everything we have to what everyone
“Losing” the election merely changes our route to positive results.
Cooperation results from giving support, not from screaming “ignoramus.”
Outlook, PMA empower us
to realize what could be.
Fighting does not make the country beautiful. We make it look good.
Imperfection--do we find fault, or do we improve the object of attention?
masters, foreign conquerors, exploited labor turned voter,
American colonization and immigration into America – human rights – Switzerland, Russia
American neighborhood and bongo drums – micro level – object of patriotism
engineering equip us to produce more and work less.
Frugality and skills obsolescence also reduce the labor need.
We adapt to change and redirect individual labor appropriately.
Realize = aware +
achieve; one ant is small but not discardable
If the project appears too big, rejoice that you are aware.
Therefore it takes all of us (“ants”)
Avoid one universal overall clearing house; we all see different aspects
Many roads to Dr. King’s mountaintop; our diversity covers the ground.
Light and sound are
perceptions: what you make of it
Evil world is not a creation; it disappears when light goes on.
Buddhism suffering = “not highest state of being”
Omit long list of ills in the world; Dr. Schweitzer and ice cream cone
Materialism is not
material to happiness. Satisfaction is reaching an
Decide right goals; external circumstances. Mental states are material.
Notre Dame, twin towers; personal relationships over physical objects
Foundation: how we share our circumstances and efforts.
To want the cure, you
must have the problem. Vendors see to that!
Health, Religion, Business – in EACH of these, we have
Promise (the good), Problem (the bad) and Program (my resolution)
Three stories this time, the paradox = cure makes it worse
Telling each other what to do:
accepted in the family and close social circles
Overboard in Germany -> Hitler
Overboard in America -> slavery, nuclear weapons, torture, capital punishment
We Germans and we Americans find redemption in facing the past and improving on it.
Here a favorite philosophy is preciously brought to us by Dennis the Menace!
Birth is a forgetting –
death is also; both are ascending to something new, not
No fall; Near-death experiences fit subject’s expectations; parallel or sequential progress
Why restart: no freshman experiences = no graduations
Resurrected to a higher order – long learning period like the one after birth.
Progress in moon
exploration, interstate highway system, containerized
Change disadvantages somebody. There is a price of progress.
Duty of those who benefit is to spread their advantage and alleviate that suffering.
We cherish uniqueness,
expressing diversity. Teamwork accomplishes more.
Value is the gift you give; sufficiency; responsibility for distribution
Natural resources are not private property (including land)
Grab the flag: individual initiative; channel coming generations (spread your unselfishness)
you alone? OK, meditation is good. However, worth
arises through relationships.
Somebody else is the other half. Strange bedfellows.
Learn outgoing kindness to your other half.
At the edge of the
universe, what is on the other side? We learn space, then time,
Broken bottlenecks don’t break reality, they lead us to learning more about reality.
Similarly, rising above conventional spiritual thinking takes us to the promised land.
We stretched to infinity. Now we progress to a higher level—yes, there is something higher than infinity. The “no end” game itself is infinite.
Enjoying Brussel sprouts raw is one reverent return to nature. Native American tradition developed that capacity over the centuries. We lose it when we are brainwashed with materialism. Good things satisfy; bad things intensify craving. Overindulgence messes up our social order.
We humans respond to each other. You have great influence over how people respond to you. One word in article 95 opens world peace to you if you apply it right. The phrase “fight for” is obsolete because there is a better way to get what you want.
Reliability is a
satisfaction; human interaction is greater satisfaction; business
Your ideal customer is you. The sharing of interest brings vendor and customer together.
Individuality matters; voluntary aspiration is stronger than assignment.
It matters to understand ourselves, other people, and our relationships.
We are bound to familiar
behavior patterns. Poor and rich alike have self-limiting beliefs
which stand in the way of realizing their potentials.
Sometimes wealth facilitates being clueless, without street smarts.
Understanding removes barriers, opens communication, and meets Humans’ Needs.
Rising generation in
regard to education, to wealth—no self-sufficiency
Prepare the way for others, the (macro) global family has adequate resources
What is above basic needs, you are holding for somebody else
Do you want to go to the beautiful next stage of human progress? Not limited by any theology, what would you like next? My reward is not an abstract remote place. It is rather a condition I call joy.
Don’t just long for relief from something unpleasant. Instead, increase what is pleasant. Too much rest is boring. Anticipation and realization keep us alive—forever!
Let’s walk over to the outskirts of heaven to sense the interface to that peaceful place. It is not unpunctuated rest; our work ethic as it smoothly transitions to an eternal state of growth. This article uses some teachings of W. Edwards Deming in a heaven-based allegory. Labor and management are on the same side of progress: namely, doing the best we can in all circumstances. We should not expect this heaven to appear instantaneously in this life or the next. It is worth our labor.
Beginning use of gender neutral pronouns:
ze (s/he); zem (her/him); zir (his/her); zirself
Do you control your children? Do you feel manipulated by them? The learning relationship is bidirectional: each side teaches the other, learns from the other, learns how the other teaches and learns how the other learns. Effective teaching is enduring, including repeating, accumulating, spiraling, distributing, and passing of time. Education is the change that takes place in life, creating the better world.
This is a peculiarly Ernstraudian perspective on goal setting. Self-other blending leads to communal goals, especially the ones for a better world which we share with appropriate sensitivity. I suggest meeting Humans’ Needs as the common starting point and allow generous room for individual variety. We simultaneously help and tolerate each other by balancing talents and balancing outcomes. This has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with who we are together.
Do you think abundantly? Do you live abundantly? Do you give abundantly? As God does? As humanists do? What does all that mean? Value is enduring, not artificial scarcity that raises price. Egalitarian often refers to equal opportunity. Equal opportunity to grab enables the aggressive to dominate. Empathy is the approach that can meet all people’s needs. The abundant mindset is not material wealth, it is willingness to cooperate.
Some people invent solutions; some follow when shown; some deny the problem. Protestors extensively use the wrong tool because they have inadequate preparation and cannot teach the detailed path. Asserting is not educating. Everyone has a path through past, present, and future. The better goal is not to pass a law; it is to improve behavior because we believe in better. Helping the poor and needy requires unselfish collaboration at the personal level.
Can we treat employees at least as well as we treat cows? Farmers learn to keep their animals healthy. We are capable of making sure every laborer is cared for.
Rich and super-rich people generally mean to do well, but they are not adequately covering the above need. Since THEY are the ones with the resources, THEY have the responsibility to administer them effectively. We should be respectful of millionaires (support their efforts to do right), while they do well to respect the choices of us common folk, the beneficiaries—after all, we don’t feed cows sawdust!
Are you ready for an upbeat, witty observation of happiness? Today’s article is not scolding anyone for anything. It is celebrating our mutual existence and thanking you for joining me here. From a self-centered infant who tends to be a self-centered adult comes a sincere appreciation of you, the reader. My story encourages you to positive relationships within the human family, where you enjoy the oneness of the many.
Growing the future includes laying the old behind when it holds us back. Today we replace a big negative roadblock with a happier, more productive mindset. The beacon points to better life based on good example and positive expectations.
Mind games help us stretch our thinking—out of complacency and pat answers. Today we study time, space, and life forms above humans. The progress of the individual is different from the progress of the species and there is ever increasing complexity.
The article may be a bit poetic. At the end, we feel small enough to think that we do not know it all.
The country’s pain is not a person. It is anger. The pain will endure as long as the anger. Attempting to get even and to override others is scripted discord. Triumph over the other expresses selfishness, not completeness. Every resetting of course provides some degree of fresh start. It was so beautifully expressed in George H. W. Bush’s emphasis on the “kinder, gentler America.” With a dramatic personnel change underway, we have the perfect moment to institute that more divine order. Our joy lies in being the new America where we sincerely care about the least of these (our neighbors).
Continuing Tuesday’s discussion, we look at constructive tolerant action. Pacifism is anything but passive; happiness is sharing. Love reaps peace in a better society. Putting others ahead of self is the blessing I aim to bring to my country’s people. Parents who control their children make themselves unhappy. Apply that to government!
Until my persuasion prevails, it is my duty to live peacefully in a country that does not live up to my standards. It is not my place to overthrow the government of the country when it offends me. Let’s get along peacefully with each other.
New arrivals will find here what they found in their previous neighborhoods—unless they expect to finding better. The worlds we find depend on what we seek. Dr. King would have us find the promised land by creating it from within. I never met him in person, but he is my friend.
We have the opportunity, not a burden, to find the good. The mountaintop provides positive perspective. When I hear this hero speak, my heart beats quicker and my eyes tear up. Enjoy today’s tribute.
Happiness is not something that is forced upon us. We achieve it by expanding into our opportunities and improving our circumstances. The improving we do, not the attention we are given, is the foundation of our happiness.
The strength we radiate will attract, not compel, the better social order we seek. Our examples must persuade others that we are happy. Persuasion is only one aspect. The bigger principle is that we improve everything worthwhile by being nice.
Am I going to Hell? Some people think I am. Are they brainwashed? Relying stubbornly on political dirty tricks is a different kind of brainwashing. Journalists relax a little now that objective facts are admissible. Whether Hell exists is less urgent than whether my neighbor loves me. I influence the latter condition. Unhappy people are often pessimistic because they are upsetting themselves with the attitudes they practice. The world is not generally under my control. My worldview is. I will not bring unhappiness on myself.
Work and exercise build muscle. Is that the only reward? Might the exercise also be doing useful work? Quitting exercise causes atrophy. Fortunately, being unable to work does not mean doing nothing at all. We can substitute activities. Increased happiness of others is not a result of our happiness; it is the cause. Beauty and happiness attach to health--especially mental health. Therefore, let us increase happiness by giving it away. These stories show failure and success of the process.
When my perspective falters, poetry inspires and strengthens me. In this article, a David Whyte poem provides the ideal metaphor for the glory that rises with the day. We reflect on the inner core of Jane Addams and Dr. King, who radiate from the genuine foundation within. We become aware of what we think and say as evidence of what we are and the power within us. Instead of complaining, we creators are fully occupied with positive perspective that becomes our world. We direct our energy, with our attention, from what is wrong to what is right.
Goats eagerly respond to rolled oats. Humans are inclined toward results they perceive as desirable and reachable, and they cooperate with enthusiasm to achieve them. Abundance depends on getting on a common track. Causes have effects. Associating available resources with desired outcomes promotes solutions. It matters how and where we ask the questions. Demonstration is ongoing and more constructive than admonition. Influencing is speaking to people's motivations. Successful leaders are appealing. Am I winning you over?
If you choose unhappiness,
that means unhappiness makes you happy.
[proof: you choose it]
Now we introduce the garden-variety do-gooder who shouts, "these people are hungry!" Does that make you sad? Much to the contrary, it makes me happy that someone has caught the vision! Being oblivious to shortage is not happiness. It is merely ignorance.
Wake up, world, and be happy that somebody has cried out. That call to action is our only hope, and hope is my greatest happiness. Going forward, we set in motion all the positive feelings and energies that attend to the human condition.